Julie Still Optimistic

Julie says I am too negative.  Julie has lost vision in the lower right quadrant in both eyes.  Her balance is not great and she has a little weakness on the left side. Her vision is generally impaired in the left eye.

It all scares the crap out of me, I have to admit. I am scared for her, I am afraid of losing her.  The MRI showed multiple lessions / tumors.  We go to a radiologist on Tuesday.  They will map out her tumors and start radiation treatments.  We will know more then, perhaps.

Julie remains optimistic and gets after me for "giving up" on her.  I haven't given up, but I am afraid of the cancer inside of her and its virility. I am afraid of losing her one small part at a time.

julie getting MRI

I'm at the hospital with Julie, she is getting an MRI. She has lost vision in her lower right quadrant in both eyes. There are also some balance problems and a little weakness on her left side.Eye doctor sent her to her cancer doctor who sent us her. The doc more or less ruled out a stroke. She has already put Julie on a steroid to reduce any swelling in her brain. Julie has been having headaches and trouble reading for about two weeks.

They will probably put her on a second drug in addition to herceptan, called Tykerb.  Will get more information.. I think radiation treatment might be another option...my thoughts are not as clear as  normal. As if I knew what was normal anymore. I don't think Julie should be driving, so I am concerned about the second week in March when I am supposed to go meet my new boss in upstate NY. I guess one hour at a time. We have an appointment to get the results of the MRI about 9 am  tomorrow. I will update this blog then.

Small Holes in Her Balloon

 

Small Holes in Her Ballon

When I was young

went to a fair

Mom bought us helium filled balloons

my brother and I.

Only safe way to hold

String tied around my hand

Til indoors on ceiling stored.

Waking each morning

I'd pull it down

Watch it rise

bouncing off the ceiling

softer with each new day

til one day the string held it down.

My brother cut the string

freed his blue balloon

in our front yard

let it rise 

out of sight

before it died.

I waited until one day

with string cut off

it just lay there

and when freed outdoors

bounced down the road

until it popped

on the black asphalt.

Julie in the bed

longer each morning

too many small holes

life leaking out

one hope at a time.

Roe

02/23/09

Julie's Back .... Eye Problem ....

Julie just came back from visiting her relatives in Wisconsin, including her dad.  She didn't say much about the trip except to say she did not get enough sleep.  I suspect that is because no one really got it, "she's dying" as she now says simply and usually without any hidden meanings.  She was upset that her dad told on several occasions that she was chunky and that she should lose some weight.  She thought of telling him she will soon, but held back since she was thinking about the future effects of the cancer.

On the ride back from the BWI airport, Julie talked about giving her cadavar to science, assuming they would want it with cancer in it.  She had just gone to a funeral for a relative and she gave me the gory details and then told me how much it costs to get even a cheap cremation. Perhaps, we should just have a bonfire.  Of course, I am sure that is illegal since it is difficult to tax and monitor.  She talked about not wanting hospice or going to the hospital.  I said the hospice was for me, to help me make it through those days ... to have some help.  She didn't seem appropriately sympathetic to me.  I hope she will reconsider as the need for hospice gets more real.

She slept in, or stayed in bed until about 11 am.  I made us some of my world-famous omlettes about noon time.  She left for the clinic to give a blood sample so she can get a herceptin treatment on Friday, I think.  I went back to work, I work out of my house most of the time. 

Julie made us sandwiches with pork and beans for supper.  I had a couple of beers and then some milk and cookies.  I usually use one or the other to fix my internal mental malfunctions, but was indecisive so did both for good measure.

Julie has a cold and is miserable.  She has a new symptom, she has blind spots.  She tried to read out out to me yesterday and it was very difficult for her.  She wondered if her interpretation was right, that she couldn't see the entire word, or if it was the onset of Pick's disease. I am afraid that the chemo did damage to her optic nerve, or worse, the cancer is now spread from her brain to her eyes.  I had insomina last night.

Julie Back Home

Julie went back home this week.  Going home is always a strange experience to me, a kind of surreal step into the past.  Your mind pulls back old images, lost memories and recalls the "old you".  For me, the "old me" has always been stronger than the "new me."  My foundation is strong thanks to my parents, and as much as I hate to admit it, my Christian upbringing (with a few exceptions).

Julie's foundation at home was good, but not as good as mine.  Her parents criticized her a lot, or at least, in her mind they did.  Of what I saw, from the time she reached thirty, her memory and evaluation fits with mine. It is not that her folks were not good people, they were.  But, it was more their style to pass out a criticism than to give a hug.  In my family, the opposite was true.  And at school, she remembers being compared to her old brother, who did great at school.  And, when she went to college, she thought her parents expected her to get married and have kids.  Whether that is true or not, I don't know.  Yet, home, no matter what it was like, is a place we gravitate to for the rest of our life.  I wonder where our kids will call home since I have moved them around too much.  Perhaps, Greenville, except for my son, who will probably think of Georgia as being home.  Perhaps, that is why my kids need more emotional help than I would hope for.

One of the women that Julie went to chemo with, Angie, has declined and has been moved into hospice. Hospice, a nice way to say that her health has declined to the point that modern science can only take away some of the physical pain of dying; dying by cancer an insidious dark demon.  Julie talked quite a bit about her and then attended a cancer support group meeting a few days before leaving for Wisconsin.  Julie seems tired more these days than ever before and spends a lot of time in bed or on the couch.  It is like there is a small leak in the the fragile shell that holds her life force.

Julie in Wisconsin will see most of her family, three bothers, one sister, some in-laws, an elderly dad of 83, and a mom with Pick's disease.  Her uncle is on his death bed.  Her sister-in-laws cousin (I think) just got ran over crossing the street in a wheel chair.  At our age, as her brother Rich said recently, we gather more often for funerals that births or marriages.  Such is the cycle of life.

In case any of you are worried about we losing weight while Julie is gone, don't worry.  I am the omlette king, see above.  Last night I had a pound or two of shrimp with Ashton and the cats and drank a bottle of wine.  I tried to sleep in, but a crow in our tree made a ruckus this morning and Ashton had to go out an bark at him until he left.  Of course, he came back, and Ashton not to be out done went out and barked until I came out and helped him.  A neighbor came over to bring our mail that was left in her box and caught me in the kitchen washing dishes in my underwear in between crow attacks.

I'm not watching much tv much these days, despite the evidence above.  I spend a few hours a day writing, my one real passion throughout life.  I write two blogs, a few poems, and adult short stories.  Often these days, I write sitting next to Julie while she watches her favorite shows like House, Heros, the Phscy?, American Idol, and a few more.  I prefer the animal channel, history channel, or sometimes the depressing news channels.

 Julie and I continue to worry about Olesia.  She moves from one illness to the next.  The latest is that there is a thickening in her intestine.  Pet scans, etc. She continues to move from one doctor to the next with a new aliment all the time.  And yes, they are real.  Out of pocket medical bills for Julie and Olesia, yes after insurance, were about $8K in January.  We met our deductible now, so we drop down to about $2K a month not covered by insurance.  Yep, I worry about how long we can last at this rate .... consulting work has dried up in this recession, so the answer is, not long.  This cancer gets you from a lot of angles and we live in society where there are few life rafts, and these days all the life rafts have holes in them.  Julie pointed out recently that she has a $100K life insurance policy.  Well, that will help.  It will pay off about half of our non-mortgage debt.  It feels a lot like it felt when I was 19 and my dad died and I took on the burden of going to school and feeding a family.  Of course, that was worse because my dad couldn't get good medical help, like by-pass surgery, because we were too poor.  At least with Julie, I believe she is getting the best medical help there is, within reason.  And, I make enough money that I can borrow a lot.  Whow, this is getting a little more depressing than I had planned.

But, no one said life was easy.  I remember when I used to get up to work at the smelter at 4 am before going to my college classes.  I would sometimes fall asleep once I got to work and started putting my work boots on.  When I finally got them strapped on, I would walk from the change room toward the smoke belching, smelter, the air full of sulfur dioxide which made your throat and eyes burn and telling myself as I looked straight down at my boots, put one boot in front of the other.  One in front of the other. One in front of the other, I would chant knowing I could sleep and rest once I got to my class.

Time for tennis.

Acceptance

Julie is outwardly doing well.  However, there is a change of tone around the house, a house that is perhaps happier and more content than it ever has been.

Julie and I were laying in the bed a few Saturdays ago.  We were laying there enjoying the warmth of the bed and delaying facing the day's challenges.  Julie looking around the room, but more at the ceiling said, "it is hard to imagine that one moment you exist and the other you don't."

I responded, "its like the room no longer exists."  And then after a slight pause, "I guess there is no way of knowing whether it exists or not."

And Julie, responded, "its not like your spirit can float around the room.  What bothers me most is not knowing how my children's lifes work out."

About a week later, Julie, Jody and I were talking in the kitchen.  Jody, our neighbor and friend, was working on putting a new wood floor in our kitchen.  The project has been expanded to include the entire main floor, one room at a time. Julie and I had decided to spend some of our retirement now, instead of later.  Jody and I were talking about my work schedule at Dresser-rand.  I told him that I go up to Olean, 60 miles south of Buffalo, once a month and the rest of the time work out of my house.  Jody had witnessed my journey to the basement every day while he and his team worked on our floors.  Out of the blue Julie asked "do you think after I am gone they will want you move to Olean."

I said, "well, I can play the 'I'M-in-mourning-card' for a year. 

Jody said, "at least a year."

Julie, said "only a year."

I replied in jest, "well, that is only the official number."  Julie looked at me trying to frown, but a small smile turning up the corner of her mouth.  There was no despair there, or even unhappiness, but perhaps just a hint of sadness. It has always been hard to peer behind her staunch German demeanor.

This morning watching the news in our bedroom, most of it about Obama's inaugural, Julie asked me when I got to sleep.  I said about half an hour after Olesia got home last night, which was about 1:30 am.  Julie said, "it will be interesting if they come live with you for awhile."

In concern, I said, "both of them."

"Well, either of them." I sighed in half-relief.

Julie in Paris

Doesn't Julie look pretty in this picture.  A certain amount of contentment on her face.  She is in Paris looking at artwork done centuries ago.  I only regret that we didn't stay longer.  Four days in Paris is not long enough, but as usual, I learn only after making a mistake, seldom before.

Palace of Versailles and Art Work of Jeff Koons. 

Whow what a castle.  I have never seen anything like it, or imagined, anything like it.  The amount of wealth measured in the human effort to create it is absolutely amazing.  It is audacious beyond belief.  There is a room, about a football sized room, that has paintings, huge paintings around the circumference.  It shows seven centuries of victories by France against its neighbors.  But, building castles and winning wars took it toll.  Soon the bellies of the people, the empty bellies, caused an uprising that overturned the powerful.  The castle is now just a symbol of those times, a beautiful symbol, but nothing more.  And we were there.  I appreciate the insight it gives me to America.  Julie, I suspect, appreciates the art.  She has the talent to do great things in art, but probably not the opportunity to get the exposure required to make it as an artist.

Now, isn't that a beautiful couple.  Whats the name of the river that runs through the middle of Paris.  Well, it is behind us in this picture artfully composed by myself.  I lost the battery to my good camera and this is my cell phone bringing you these classy pictures. Yes, it was cold, but it briefly stopped raining to allow this picture.

This is Julie in a small cafe next to Notre Dame.  We had hot wine and crepes.  Julie had some messed up carmel crepes, ugh, while I had some maple, cream and banana crepes.  I would have had another glass of hot wine, but service in Paris is not all that good.  But, they make up for it by being very expensive and speaking French.

I am going to put together a google web-show of the pictures and put a link in this blog, but for now, one last picture.

These are cat mummies from Egypt in a Paris Museum.  For all of you cat lovers, perhaps we could restart this old custom.  It makes great stuff to put in your display cabinets at home.  More later from Julie and Robert, back from Paris.

Back from Paris

Well, I could almost keep up with Julie in Paris.  She was in hyperdrive.  Even Ashton would not want to walk as much as we did going to see museums, castles, arches, rivers, etc.  Great, absolutely great food, especially desserts.  Some great draft beers.

Paris was raining and cold.  Julie got a cold from her effort.  I got a sinus headache from all the dry air on the plane and our hotel.  But, we are fine.

Versailles Castle was audacious. It is easy to see why the French people revolted.  Kind of like Fuld who was the President of Leeman Brothers bank who walked away with $480 million while his bank was going bankrupt. Same story, just a different century.

Perhaps on the last email I misled some.  Julie's Petscan was clean, no cancer detected .... but, with this kind of cancer, they KNOW that there are still a few cancer cells left (below the radar so to speak) that will come back.  When they do come back they will be resistant to the first type of chemo treatments she received.  In short, the calvary, the most effective drugs, will probably not work the next time.  They then pull the second bag of drugs from their arsenal, etc. until the bag is empty.

Every three weeks Julie will get Herceptan, which is supposed to interfere with the cancer drugs multiplying.  They will continue this as long as it works.  The good news is that for a few people this can last for years.  Keep your fingers crossed.  They are also debating whether or not to remove what is now a small tumor from Julie's breast.  If it becomes active, it could grow out onto the skin and be difficult to treat.  But, Julie has not decided yet whether or not she will have it removed.  It is dormant for the moment.

Julie has seemed more tired than normal since her return from Paris.  Her cold and the excitement of the trip in the past, I guess it is normal.  I don't like to hear her cough from the cold or clear her throat, because in my mind it sounds just like the cancer.  I guess that is just the baggage that comes along with this disease.  

Paris Bound

Julie and I agreed that if she made it through the first fight with cancer (5 months of chemo treatments), we would go somewhere special.  I was thinking the Carribeans or similar.  Or one of those cruises.  Or Mexico or Panama.  Well, work said I needed to go to Paris this week and talk to Total Oil Company.  Julie, said she wanted to go.

So Monday I leave for Paris. Julie follows on Tuesday.  We fly together on Sunday back to Philadelphia. 


Julie's last pet scan showed no cancer in her lungs, liver, heart, etc. Bones are still in question, but probably okay.  Julie's blood work shows her red blood cells are in the normal range.  Her white cells are still down but improving.  She will be on Herceptan every three weeks for the rest of her life.  They will go back to chemo, we are told When not if, the cancer returns.  But, until then, we are trying hard to learn to live in the moment and enjoy each other.  We are doing better with staying happy and in the present.


Well, more later.  Getting ready for Paris.

D-day

Uncle Floyd and Aunt Minnie.  My Uncle was a horse, in his early 80's he did roofing work in El Paso in the summer.  Aunt Minnie was a fire ball.  I saw pictures of her in roaring twenties and she definitely contributed to it being called the roaring twenties.  But, when I knew her, she was always old.  She still had a fireball for a mouth to put it kindly.  But Uncle Floyd would listen to her fuzz at him for about five minutes and then say firmly, "that's enough."  And, then she would stop.

When Uncle Floyd was about 85, he drove his Aunt Minnie to Marshal, Texas from El Paso, about a 14 hour drive.  They went to bed.  Aunt Minnie raised up on her shoulder shortly after going to bed.  Her brittle bones broke; her bone split from the elbow to the shoulder.  Uncle Floyd got up and drove her to the emergency room in Marshal, then to Texarkana.  In Texarkana, they told him it was best if he took her back to El Paso.  He did. Back in El Paso, he took her to the doctor and they fixed her up.  Uncle Floyd at 85 had been up to take care of his girl, his roaring 20's girl, for nearly four days without sleep.  He took his roaring twenties girl home, put her to bed and then he died.

I saw Julie's old passport picture this week.  She reminded me of my Aunt Minnie's picture.  She had to take off her scarf to take her new passport picture.

On November 19 Julie gets another Petscan.  The doctors have dropped back to Herceptan, which is a maintenance drug that is supposed to keep the cancer cells from multiplying.  They want to end the chemo, at least for now, because they are afraid of nerve damage.  The symptom, Julie's feet alternate between being numb, tingling and hurting.

On the second week of December, Julie wants to go to Paris with me.  I am going there on business, Julie wants to tag along.  All we have to do is figure out the pets and we are good.

My New Hero

Well, I told Julie today that I have a new hero.  First, my old heros.

Mohammid Ali.  Do I need to say more.  The one that said "I don't have nothing against those googs."  The army was trying to draft me at the time.  He gave me the courage to try to be a conscientious objector.

Dr. Frank E. Rizzo, a professor who believed in me.

My dad, who  also believed in me.

Ronald Reagan, who believed in America.

And, now Julie.  Who always says she is doing fine, no matter what.  We did the 5K Cancer walk on Saturday, then drove 2 hours to Maryland College Park.  We walked around for a couple of hours with Olesia showing us her college.  On the walk back to Olesia's apartment, Julie got tired and asked us to go get the car.  We did.  After a short rest, Julie went shopping with Olesia at a linen store.  We drove home for two hours and went to bed.

I got up this morning and went to play tennis.  Went I got home, I told Julie she was my new hero.  She laughed, but its true.  Most of my heros I never knew well.  It is easy to have heros when you don't know someone well enough to know their faults, their shortcomings.  But, I know my wife's shortcomings.  And still, the way she has handled cancer, I can say with confidence, I have a new hero.

They told Julie last week that they were accelerating her chemo treatment because of the nerve damage.  Her feet are tinging and loosing feeling.  I hear it and think bad news.Julie just says she is glad it is not her hands so she can still do her art work. But, it says we are getting to the end of what can be accomplished with chemo, or at least the type she is now getting.

Better Week

Julie's white blood cells recovered last week which allowed chemo to proceed.  Julie, I and a friend (David Noble) did some hiking at Turkey Point.  Julie did well, sitting only one time after a steep climb up the hill.  I was behind her and breathing hard myself.  Julie's back has been hurting some today and she has spent most of the day in bed, in part, worn out by the hiking and perhaps some by having company.  Allison also came to visit on Sunday.  She needed her rent paid, etc.

Tomorrow at 8 am they are doing another mammogram on her breast to check the size of the tumor.  Originally 2.6 cm, I think 1.6 cm after the first three batches of chemo.  We would like to have it cut out, but the risk of infection for Julie is too high now.

She is upstairs clearing her throat.  A sound I hate to hear.  It has only been three months, July 1, since the diagnosis.  It seems like years.  They are good times when one can stay in the present.  Julie's dad, John, wants to visit.  She suggested that he come to visit with Russ and Chris since that would be less work on her ... they would entertain him some.  But, John thinks that would be too big of a crowd so he wants to go at another time.  Julie's sister is coming next week for a week stay.  I plan to be in Olean for most of  her stay.  Olesia wants mom to come down for Parent's day at the University of Maryland at College Park.  Julie also wants to go on the 5 km cancer walk at Fairhill this week.  Hard to keep up.

Crap, Crap, Bad News

First, I wish I knew how to spell crap.

Julie couldn't get chemo this week, giving the cancer a week off from being treated. The reason, white blood cells are done. I assume this means her lymph glands, which I think make the white cells, are not making enough white cells. Why, I assume because the chemo is attacking the lymph glands. This has happened about three times. Bummer.

Good News

We got some good news today.  Julie had a cat scan about 10 days ago.  We reviewed the scan with the doctor today.  Most but not all of the cancer is out of Julie's lungs, there is still a significant amount left in her liver, and her adrenaline gland has shrunk back to normal size indicating the cancer is almost gone there.   The tumor in her breast has shrunk from about 2.6 cm to 1.5 cm.   Her lymph glands are almost back to normal size.  

On the other side of the coin, Julie's toes are tingling some indicating the chemo is doing damage to the tissue around the nerves.  Julie is getting three growth shots (steroids) a week to keep her white blood cells at an acceptable level.  She got a blood transfusion to keep her red blood count up.  She has been tired more than usual and is gaining weight, a side effect of the steroids.  I am gaining weight also, cause not yet determined, but food is suspected.

Julie has just started the fourth set of chemo of six sets.  So, half way through.  Chemo is working but it also getting tough on Julie.   Of course, when the doctor asked Julie how she is doing, she said, as always, fine.

 

Living in Doubt

Well, I am leaving for New York in a few hours leaving Julie alone, well with Ashton and the cats. 

Last week was not quite typical.  Two trips for shots, one for a blood test, and a blood transfusion and cat scan instead of chemo.  Julie's red blood count was too low for chemo, so they topped her up with a couple of bags of red blood.  Seems like at some point you would get full and your blood pressure go up, but they said no, she would just pee out the excess fluids and keep the red blood cells - convenient.

Julie was tired more last week than normal.  She had a cough and throat clearing episodes on Monday, which were the first signs of cancer three months ago.   Of course, when this happens it makes me fear the cancer is coming back.  The coughing and throat clearing seemed to disappear as the week went on making me somewhat less fearful.  However, she has started having indigestion and acid reflux a lot lately, which of course makes me afraid the cancer has spread to her stomach or esophagus.  I assume all these fears are normal, but I don't like them. 

Every hug and kiss with Julie these days is precious.  Her laying on my shoulder at night, on the rare occasion that Ashton allows this, is almost more emotional than I can deal with.  It feels great, it makes me happy and sad all at the same time, and it scares me.  The fear is my inability to stay in the present and not think about the future.   All of this messes up my mind more than anything else has for about forty years.  I consider myself a strong person and I believe I can make it through most things better than most, but the uncertainty makes this harder than most.

We went to the Delaware Fair yesterday.  My sandal broke a couple of blocks from the car.  I went bare footed and fought with Ashton, who is very strong for 22 pounds, as we walked the Delaware grounds.  Big place.  Julie went to her Master Garden booth to see how everyone is doing.  I tried to keep Ashton from attacking all the other dogs that walked by.  He nipped a large puppy that came up to him.  Embarassing.   Julie got pumped up and then stayed that way the rest of the day.  We walked Ashton when we got home, he didn't think the Fair qualified as his walk.   We watched two movies, Michael xx, and Gloomy Sunday.   Nope that was the night before. No, last night Julie worked on her dolls until late.

Julie seems more intense on getting her dolls done these days.  She stays up late, until she is too tired to work anymore and then comes to bed.  She rests much more than usual and watches tv from the bed for a few hours every day.   But, when she does get up, she is more focused on projects than normal.   Her garden projects are finished this year.  Jody and Peggy, our neighbors, have been mowing our yard.  Both are busy with their lives, but have found time to walk over and spend time with us.  Jody and I drink beer, our common ground, and Julie and Peggy talk about raising kids and other similar topics.   It is unfortunate that it takes cancer for neighbors to get closer and spend time together.  But, that is the life style (being too busy paying the bills, etc.) that we have chosen in America.  I digress.

Well, all is not dome and gloom.  Julie had a nice send off for me to NY.  But, she said not to put it in the blog, so I won't.

Missing Julie

From an airport in London, with a broke phone and my flight in 4 and 1/2 hours, after flying eight hours from Oman, I would like to call and talk to Julie. But, it is 7:30 here and I guess about 2 am in MD. And my phone screen is broken.

I hope the chemo is still working well and that Julie is enjoying her life and freinds. Everyone continues to be great and support her and us. Living with the now, ignoring the uncertainity - the wild card of cancer - is easier when we see the chemo working. Enjoying life is easier when her friends share the now with her. Not so profound, but true.

Muscat Hotel

Since my phone is broken and I had not heard if Julie was doing well for three days, I borrowed a phone and called Julie. She was in the doctor's office. It was good to hear that Allison was with her. Julie said she was okay, but no matter what that is what she would say. From Oman, without a phone it is hard to tell.

However, she assured me that Ashton had started sleeping with her again, which means he was upset with my leaving, not with Julie's health. It is strange that Ashton's return to her bed (he is a Jack Russel), would make me feel better. He seems to know when something is wrong before we do. I had hoped someone that had spent some time with Julie would have emailed me to assure me that all is well, but I guess not that many read this blog anymore.

The opportunity for build a magnesium plant that I have worked on for nine years is about to happen, perhaps. I got some poor vibs the last two days. Perhaps, it is my vibs about Julie being more important to me than any project, no matter how long I have worked on it, or no matter how much money I could make on it .... perhaps millions ... has been conveyed to others as not being fully committed, which I am not. And as usual, perhaps I talk too much and I am too honest. Well, which all goes to prove that fighting poverty is my Karma, as they say. But, it has only been 41 years since I took up the battle in earnest. I have moved ahead of poverty in the middle of the race, but I always feel that it will catch me again before I reach the finish line. Of course, Julie would be glad to go across the finish line and not pull up lame. I think when she does, I will stop and help her and poverty will race ahead of us.

Oman Hotel

I'm in a plush hotel in Oman, drinking a beer during Ramadhan. I'm told it is okay in my room. If caught drinking or eating in public during day light, you go to jail. I guess you stay longer if alcohol is involved. They say Saudi is worse. I don't know how.

Despite these rules, the towns are very modern with no homeless people to be seen on the streets. People are very friendly here and very hospital. Of course, this hotel is $300 per night, so they are paid to be friendly.

You need a license for everything, kind of like our system where you are taxed on everything. Anyway, what I wonder about at the moment is how Julie is doing. My phone doesn't work here and just to make sure, I broke the screen. I get back to Philly on Friday, Sept 5, around 2 pm. Julie has written twice, but it has been two days since I heard from her. She told me Ashton was not sleeping with her, so that makes me worried. He knew she was sick before the doctor's knew. I hope he is just upset that I am not there. I am upset that I am not there, so we agree.

I got up at 4 am to work on another project and now I am tired. Anyway, any of you with a phone, give Julie a call to see how she is and then leave a comment or drop me an email. Thanks.

On My Way to Oman

In London airport, on way to Oman. If this goes well, this could be
Julie's and my retirement. If not, then just and interesting and
profitable trip, hopefully. Writing this post from my phone.

Lots of languages and nationalities at this airport, Heathrow, and at
this gate. Cold in the airport.

Ashton knew I was leaving. When I came to bed, he moved from between
us to the otherside of Julie. He then asked to go out. He went to
his dog house and spent the night, Wednesday night. I left the door
ajar and he came back in about Sunrise and put his head on my
shoulder. He stuck close to me all day and drove with me to take
Julie to her chemo twice, lab mess up. Julie finally drove herself.
The benidriol makes her sleepy that they give with chemo, but I had to
leave for the Philly airport with olesia.

Boarding.

Leaving for Oman

To all,

 

Leaving for Oman today.  Daughter leaving for college tomorrow.  She is in a panic because all of her stuff won't fit in one car.  Her sister is coming down to help her, but they won't both fit with her stuff in the car. 

 

Julie's chemo got put off until this afternoon or tomorrow because the lab work on her blood was not back.  I'm afraid she will try to help Olesia too soon after her chemo session.  Don't trust her driving on the day of the chemo.

 

Everyone seems more stressed than Julie. 

 

 

I assume it will all work out.  Got to get ready for airport.

 

 

Robert

 

P.S. Janice came by, Julie needs to feed her cat while she is gone for a week.  Everyone counts on Julie.