Julie and I were laying in the bed a few Saturdays ago. We were laying there enjoying the warmth of the bed and delaying facing the day's challenges. Julie looking around the room, but more at the ceiling said, "it is hard to imagine that one moment you exist and the other you don't."
I responded, "its like the room no longer exists." And then after a slight pause, "I guess there is no way of knowing whether it exists or not."
And Julie, responded, "its not like your spirit can float around the room. What bothers me most is not knowing how my children's lifes work out."
About a week later, Julie, Jody and I were talking in the kitchen. Jody, our neighbor and friend, was working on putting a new wood floor in our kitchen. The project has been expanded to include the entire main floor, one room at a time. Julie and I had decided to spend some of our retirement now, instead of later. Jody and I were talking about my work schedule at Dresser-rand. I told him that I go up to Olean, 60 miles south of Buffalo, once a month and the rest of the time work out of my house. Jody had witnessed my journey to the basement every day while he and his team worked on our floors. Out of the blue Julie asked "do you think after I am gone they will want you move to Olean."
I said, "well, I can play the 'I'M-in-mourning-card' for a year.
Jody said, "at least a year."
Julie, said "only a year."
I replied in jest, "well, that is only the official number." Julie looked at me trying to frown, but a small smile turning up the corner of her mouth. There was no despair there, or even unhappiness, but perhaps just a hint of sadness. It has always been hard to peer behind her staunch German demeanor.
This morning watching the news in our bedroom, most of it about Obama's inaugural, Julie asked me when I got to sleep. I said about half an hour after Olesia got home last night, which was about 1:30 am. Julie said, "it will be interesting if they come live with you for awhile."
In concern, I said, "both of them."
"Well, either of them." I sighed in half-relief.
