Julie's Back .... Eye Problem ....

Julie just came back from visiting her relatives in Wisconsin, including her dad.  She didn't say much about the trip except to say she did not get enough sleep.  I suspect that is because no one really got it, "she's dying" as she now says simply and usually without any hidden meanings.  She was upset that her dad told on several occasions that she was chunky and that she should lose some weight.  She thought of telling him she will soon, but held back since she was thinking about the future effects of the cancer.

On the ride back from the BWI airport, Julie talked about giving her cadavar to science, assuming they would want it with cancer in it.  She had just gone to a funeral for a relative and she gave me the gory details and then told me how much it costs to get even a cheap cremation. Perhaps, we should just have a bonfire.  Of course, I am sure that is illegal since it is difficult to tax and monitor.  She talked about not wanting hospice or going to the hospital.  I said the hospice was for me, to help me make it through those days ... to have some help.  She didn't seem appropriately sympathetic to me.  I hope she will reconsider as the need for hospice gets more real.

She slept in, or stayed in bed until about 11 am.  I made us some of my world-famous omlettes about noon time.  She left for the clinic to give a blood sample so she can get a herceptin treatment on Friday, I think.  I went back to work, I work out of my house most of the time. 

Julie made us sandwiches with pork and beans for supper.  I had a couple of beers and then some milk and cookies.  I usually use one or the other to fix my internal mental malfunctions, but was indecisive so did both for good measure.

Julie has a cold and is miserable.  She has a new symptom, she has blind spots.  She tried to read out out to me yesterday and it was very difficult for her.  She wondered if her interpretation was right, that she couldn't see the entire word, or if it was the onset of Pick's disease. I am afraid that the chemo did damage to her optic nerve, or worse, the cancer is now spread from her brain to her eyes.  I had insomina last night.