Makes it Downstairs

so, dad, does this mean you might no be there much when i am there? is olesia
>staying at the house now?
>
>your blog is a good start. i would like to see some more pictures of julie
>happy, living, not in a hospital bed only, and some nice pictures of her flowers
>would go well in there too. maybe ashton pouting at the doghouse?
>
>your email says the beginning of august, and i was thinking the end of july..
>not much difference, but the sooner i know the sooner i can get a ticket. and i
>imagine that it will be a bit cheaper the sooner i can get it. maybe not.. i
>haven't bought a plane ticket in a while/
>
>mikE

dad, well, whatever you need to do.. i was wondering if there was an ideal scenario in mind for you in regards to my timing and stay? is Julie checking her email? how was today for you? mikE


Mike,

Well. I played tennis and played okay. I was tired from not sleeping well, but that's okay. I have all sorts of feelings, probably dread, being at the top. I don't know how well Julie is going to hold up to the chemo, she was in a lot of pain the last time -- I don't think she was able to handle the entire dose. I left because I thought they were done, but they were only the test doses to make sure that she didn't have an allergic reaction. So figuring out anything else at the moment, like ideal timing for your visit, is more than I can process at the moment.

I need to help Julie get started on using Olesia's laptop in the living room when she comes down ... so she can get her email. I will try to make that happen tomorrow. Julie has been struggling with telling her father, the only family member that doesn't know. He is in his mid 80's and is already feeling lonesome since his wife has Pick's disease, which is similar to Alzheimer's. I can't imagine finding out that his daughter is really ill is going to go well.

I sometimes think I am like an empath, if that is a word. Or perhaps, just a whimp. I hate seeing Julie hurt, or even have coughing episodes. I think the coughing is doing better, but I am afraid it is from the oxygen, not the chemo. Anyway, I am trying to learn to move into the moment and not think ahead.

Dad

P.S. Joe and Lynn came over Friday night and brought supper. I fired up the grill and Joe cooked the chicken he brought. Drank too much wine and had a headache. Ashton wanted Julie to go outside at 3:30 am. Not sure what that was about. He wants her to get out a garden, not sure why he chose 3:30 am. I went out with him, but he just looked at me ... like, why are you going outside at :3:30 am in the morning.