When I was 19
my dad's heart went bad
he dug up and sold all his flowers
that filled his back yard and heart
knowing we would neglect them
better to send them to a new home
than watch them die in the arid soil of El Paso..
Roses were his favorite
big red ones
giant thorny bushes
that lived like creatures in our back yard.
After all the flowers
were off to good homes
he wrote a note,
left it next to his bed
asking for red roses on his grave
He then laid down and died.
Yesterday, my wife
Bed ridden from cancer
Sent me home
To water her flowers.
I don't know her favorite
she told me
I'm sure.
I feel guilty for not knowing
for not being with her
with all my heart and soul
for all these years.
If I had of known
the last time we made love
that it could be the last
I would have made love
with some of her flowers
strewn across the bed
with my heart
Our dog Ashton
a Jack Russel with a soul
would not sleep inside last night
slept in his dog house
head on paws
sadness in his eyes.
He didn't come for breakfast.
Perhaps later I will bribe him
with a car ride.
He might think
we are going to see Julie
and come along for the ride.
I would like to take Ashton
to El Paso
and show him the arid soil
and place roses
on an old grave
with him beside me
and mom beside dad
but that would be a long ride
and it is not where
he wants to go.
So today
I will water her flowers
Before I go visit her
Sick and in pain
from her first chemo
and leave Ashton
head on his paws
In his plastic dog house
under the tree
next to her garden.
Roe
070308
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