Came home today after walking Ashton and stopping for 3 beers at Jody's and found Julie unable to get off the couch and having a bowel movement. She was trying to put on a second depends to contain the problem. I had her give me a bear hugs and I carried her up the stairs, sat her on the toilet and undressed her. Seemed like it was all done, so I undressed and had her give me a bear hug and took her into the shower to clean-off. When we started to get out, she had diarrhea so we stayed in the shower for a while and I cleaned up again. I got her out of the shower and her legs went out completely and she went down on her knees. I dried her completely and had her give me a bear hug again and I lifted her and carried her to the bed. I cleaned her up some more, put a depends on her and then lifted her again and got her on her side of the bed.
She had not said much during the whole thing. When she was finally in bed and I was standing there soiled and covered more with sweat than water, I asked her, do you feel like I love you. She gave me the biggest smile and nodded.
I went back to the shower to clean up me and the shower and then went downstairs and cleaned up and stared doing laundry. Found Olesia had not finished her job so her stuff was in the way. I then went and picked up all of the art work beside the bed and put it on the table, Olesia's job not finished. Then gathered all of Julie's med and started a spreadsheet to administer the meds.
I am now writing this note. I always new, well for the last couple of years that this day would come. I had always dreaded it. But, through it all, I just said to myself, this is what it means to love someone. And, it didn't bother me. My back is killing me. I have incredibly strong legs, but kind of an average back. Julie after all the steroids is about 170 pounds I would guess. Not so easy to lift and move upstairs, into a shower and then to bed.
Yes, the day for hospice has arrived. But, I have to make it through tonight first, and probably the weekend.
She had not said much during the whole thing. When she was finally in bed and I was standing there soiled and covered more with sweat than water, I asked her, do you feel like I love you. She gave me the biggest smile and nodded.
I went back to the shower to clean up me and the shower and then went downstairs and cleaned up and stared doing laundry. Found Olesia had not finished her job so her stuff was in the way. I then went and picked up all of the art work beside the bed and put it on the table, Olesia's job not finished. Then gathered all of Julie's med and started a spreadsheet to administer the meds.
I am now writing this note. I always new, well for the last couple of years that this day would come. I had always dreaded it. But, through it all, I just said to myself, this is what it means to love someone. And, it didn't bother me. My back is killing me. I have incredibly strong legs, but kind of an average back. Julie after all the steroids is about 170 pounds I would guess. Not so easy to lift and move upstairs, into a shower and then to bed.
Yes, the day for hospice has arrived. But, I have to make it through tonight first, and probably the weekend.
I think this is the last post ... don't have the energy to do this post, face-book and take care of Julie. If you want to see the rest, join me on face book or ask someone who is on facebook for the news.
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