Balance Problems

With all new changes, they come slowly.  At first, I don't know if they are my imagination or my excessive concern gone south again, but it seems to me that Julie's balance is getting worse after nearly full recovery after the radiation treatment.  I lose my balance sometimes when I am trying to dress after my shower standing in the middle of the room trying not to hold onto anything as I dress -- its my first exercise of the day.  With age, or with sore knees after a day of tennis, sometimes I cheat a little and hold onto something.  So, I know what age does to balance.  But, with Julie I am afraid it is more.  There is nothing firm to hold onto yet, nothing that I can say to convince Julie or the doctor that things are changing, but enough to convince myself.

Of course, I am worried that she will fall and worse that is a sign that the cancer is on the move again.  I told Julie about it and she said her head is just "floaty" and she lack confidence.  But, that sounds more like a description of how she feels than anything definitive on whether her balance is getting worse or not.  Her logic did not seem tight, which I added to a list of the subtle symptoms. 

In conflict with these symptoms, she has been trying harder lately to work on her projects, dolls and stuff, and doing work around the house.  Right before I left and right after I got back she sat on the lawn tactor and mowed the lawn, my job.  My tolerance of high grass exceeds her tolerance.  I usually mow it to her schedule, not mine, but the trip to NC and SC took some of my precious time (however, it was well spent).

I am planning on going to Olean, NY next week.  I think Julie will be okay but I can't help but wonder which trip will be my last one.  They are also laying off people moving from department to department -- they are not yet to our metallurgy group.   Another reason to wonder.